Child-Rearing


 * Script:**

Hello listeners! This is Brittany here, and I am going to discuss with you child-rearing. Well, why is it a big deal? The whole world is made up of Parents and Children. Raising children is what builds societies today and if everyone was wild without learned guidelines from their parents, civilization would crumble. A very important part of child rearing and what makes children unique are the different world religions. Hinduism is the oldest Eastern religion and mostly practiced in India. Since India is very large with many different social groups, there are many different practices and teachings with child rearing. India is continuously growing and becoming more modernized therefore many child rearing- practices now come from western civilizations like the United States. However, Hindus still use child rearing practices that people in western civilizations may feel is unsafe. In more rural areas in India, they still use scarification, herbal remedies like opium instead of prescribed medicines, they breast feed their children for years and only feed their infants breast milk. While child rearing is usually a personal matter, in India it becomes a worldly issue. They have children at very young ages work for long hours with very little to no pay. Children labor laws have been passed to help with this problem but because of their culture and their economy, it has been difficult to enforce. While we are in the Eastern religions, Let us discuss Buddhism. While most parents can't imagine leaving their family when a new addition arrived, Buddha did just that. Who in their right mind would just leave? Buddha had good intentions. He wanted to clear his mind and concentrate on his spiritual and emotional life so that way when he came back, he could share his new found happiness with his family. His main teachings involved self reflection. Buddha had taught his son that before does anything he should think about whether that will cause harm or not. He then said that if it does, he should stop, but if it does not cause harm, he can keep doing whatever it was. Buddhists teach their children to take responsibility for their own actions and learn from their mistakes. That is something I’m sure most parents would like their children to learn. Confucian and Taoist parents are very careful with raising their children. They feel that they are very fragile and that something little can set them off onto the wrong path. For example, they believe that if they were to take their child’s side while they were yelling and screaming that the child would learn to take sides and blame others. A Taoist poem mentioned that if a child was urged to achieve that they may never be satisfied with life or they may learn to cheat and steal. Children are very fragile which is why parents of these religions are very careful with what they do. Judaism is the oldest religion of the Western religions. A Jewish parent's actions must go along with what they are saying. If a child sees by their parents' actions that Judaism is very important, they will act in a way that goes along with Jewish teaching. If a parent is not doing what they are saying, it creates mixed messages for the children. Jewish Parents practice what they preach to avoid confusion in their children and avoid being hypocritical. The next western religion would be Christianity. Parents emphasize God’s love when they rearing their children. Articlesnatch.com states, "It is foolish, fatal, and suicidal to wait till the child is grown up for so that he may then be instructed in the ways of God. Two reasons are obvious for this. First of all, there is no age at which a child cannot learn of the love of God." While cultivating Christian principles, one can tell that God’s love is the most important aspect to teach their children. Last nut certainly not least of the western religions is Islam. They teach their children with love and discipline. Also, Muslim parents teach nonviolence and peace to their children which is very important to them. They try to block out worldly things from their children to help them keep a pure mind and stay on the right path. The Koran is taught right away to Muslim children. Well there you have it. Child rearing in a nutshell. So long folks.

12-6-10


 * Prompt 9:**

BIG PICTURE: MAIN RULES AND CONSEQUENCES. Describe the main teachings of **The Chinese Philosophies: Confucianism and Taoism** pertinent to your issue. What are the consequences (legal, social, spiritual) when the teachings are not followed? In other words, I'm asking you to investigate whether your ethical issue is considered a public matter, with public, legal, and social consequences, or is it considered a spiritual or personal matter, with more private consequences affecting personal relationships and spiritual matters.

The Confucianism view is that men are born good but as they grow up, they become corrupted by society. If a child has bad behaviors, Confucians mostly blame the parents and nurses. It is up to the father in the family to take care of the children and make sure they are brought up well. They see mothers as uneducated and foolish as well as servants and nursemaids. They should not be the ones to teach children because of their foolishness. They believe that to avoid bad ideas emerging from the child's mind, that they should not force their opinions on them. If the child is acting in a childish manner, it is because it is a child and you should leave the mischief up to the child. It is believed that with age, mischief will decrease and eventually disappear. Parents must be very cautious with raising their children. Confucians believe that joking around could cause jealousy between siblings, taking sides with their children when they yell or scream causes the child to take sides and blame others, deceiving their children gives the the idea of cheating and making up scary stories creates cowardliness in the children. Children are very fragile, and that is why Confucian parents need to be careful when raising them. This is really a personal matter, however it could be social too because if a teacher sees a child acting out, they would probably blame the parents. An excerpt from a Taoist book was in the form of a poem and it basically talked about basic views and ways how to teach your child. The poem stated how you should not compare your child's abilities with athletes, entertainers, and celebrities because the child may feel worthless and "lose their own power." Although one may want to give their child a role model to look up to, Taoists believe that you should not compare them. The poem also mentioned how urging children to achieve may cause them to cheat steal. The reason mentioned was because the child is trying to live up to your expectations. Another problem with teaching them to achieve is that the child will never be content. Instead of teaching the child to achieve, Taoists teach their children to be content. Taoist think that it is important for parents to encourage their child's deepest joys. I think it is important to encourage something the child loves to do. Lastly, children learn happiness from their parents and happiness is key to a well developed child.

Sources: http://chnm.gmu.edu/cyh/primary-sources/117 http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/books/books.php?id=16160

11-22-10


 * Prompt 8:**

BIG PICTURE: MAIN RULES AND CONSEQUENCES. Describe the main teachings of **Buddhism** pertinent to your issue. What are the consequences (legal, social, spiritual) when the teachings are not followed? In other words, I'm asking you to investigate whether your ethical issue is considered a public matter, with public, legal, and social consequences, or is it considered a spiritual or personal matter, with more private consequences affecting personal relationships and spiritual matters.

When Buddha became a father, he had left his family the day his only son was born. At first, one might think what kind of father does that? But Buddha had good intentions for this. He felt that unconditional happiness could be achieved by leaving them and concentrating on his spiritual and emotional life so that when he comes back, he can give back to them the happiness he found for himself. Teaching children Buddhist ways involves self reflection. Buddha had taught his son that before does anything he should think about whether that will cause harm or not. He then said that If it does, he should stop, but if it does not cause harm, he can keep doing whatever it was. After his child would perform the action, he would then ask him if he thought that it brought well being or harm to him and if it brought well being he could keep doing it. Buddha has said "on reflection [of a bodily, verbal, or mental action], you know that it did not lead to affliction...it was a skillful action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then you should stay mentally refreshed and joyful, training day and night in skillful mental qualities." Basically, parents of Buddhism teach their children how important it is to learn from their mistakes and also taking responsibility for their own actions. Child rearing can be considered a social matter for Buddhist because they encourage their children to cultivate friendships with other adults so that way they can make good decisions. If one feels that their child is learning from a bad influence, it could definitely be a social matter if they are learning what is going on through the community. Consequences with child rearing are more private in the fact that children learn from their own mistakes. Another important thing that Buddhist teach their children in dharma. Dharma is finding happiness within yourself rather than looking for outside materials or other things. Teaching their children dharma is very important to Buddhist parents. They feel happiness within yourself is when one can feel at peace and truly happy.

Sources: http://www.tricycle.com/special-section/introduction-teaching-your-children-buddhist-values http://aboutdharma.org/

11-15-10


 * Prompt 7:**

BIG PICTURE: MAIN RULES AND CONSEQUENCES. Describe the main teachings of **Hinduism** pertinent to your issue. What are the consequences (legal, social, spiritual) when the teachings are not followed? In other words, I'm asking you to investigate whether your ethical issue is considered a public matter, with public, legal, and social consequences, or is it considered a spiritual or personal matter, with more private consequences affecting personal relationships and spiritual matters.

Since Hinduism is mostly practiced in India and India is very large with many different social groups, there are many different practices and teachings with child rearing. Also, since India is continuously growing, many child rearing- practices now come from western civilizations like the United States. There are still differences though. Indian infants, are held more constantly than babies in western civilizations. Because of large family living arrangements, many family members/adults help raise children in Indian families. Toilet training children begin early in Indian cultures. When the child is one or able to know how to walk, is when they start teaching them how to use the toilet. In India, they still use many practices that may be considered not safe for child rearing. Examples include "scarification, use of herbal remedies instead of medicines, regular use of opiates,and breastfeeding for many years or only feeding infants breast milk." Scarification is the operation of making many small incisions in the skin. They don't use prescribed medicine from the doctor if their children are sick, Instead they use herbal remedies. To manage/ help with pain, they use Opiates. Breast feeding is pretty self explanatory a. In India, Hinduism is the largest group. With Child rearing, they practice many western styles as well. They believe family is very important and so is discipline. The father makes the families major and financial decisions while the mother handles the child care problems. By six or seven, children are expected to work full time jobs. Basically that is how it is for child rearing. It is not a public issue. Mainly, it just deals with the family. However, It is a big issue when looking into child labor laws, since children in India are working full time jobs with little to no pay at all.
 * Response:**

http://www.suite101.com/content/child-rearing-beliefs-and-practices-in-indian-culture-a257317 http://www.answers.com/topic/scarification
 * Sources:**

11-8-10

BIG PICTURE: MAIN RULES AND CONSEQUENCES. Describe the main teachings of **Islam** pertinent to your issue. What are the consequences (legal, social, spiritual) when the teachings are not followed? In other words, I'm asking you to investigate whether your ethical issue is considered a public matter, with public, legal, and social consequences, or is it considered a spiritual or personal matter, with more private consequences affecting personal relationships and spiritual matters.
 * Prompt 6:**

Islamic parents teach their children with love and discipline. It is very important to Muslims that they teach peacefulness and nonviolence. One may see Muslim parents as strict because they try to block out worldly desires from their homes and children. They have good reason for it however. Keeping their children away from worldly things helps with the faith that they have. Denying their children of these desires, teaches them self control which is very important to Muslims. While some people in the united states may respond to their baby right away when they cry, Muslim parents do not. They think that if they reward their children when they cried, they would continue the behavior, which behaviorist psychologist B.F Skinner would agree on. Islamic parents also teach their children to apologize and be honest. Muslim parents show this by example since they do not think lying to children is good and being honest is divine. Of course, one would even assume that Muslim parents tech the Koran to their children right away. The Koran is essential and must be taught to children coming from Islamic parents. Child Rearing is a personal issue for Muslims. It is the parents responsibility to teach and enlighten their children with the principles they hold dear to themselves.
 * Response:**

Sources: http://www.helium.com/items/253041-understanding-the-islamic-principles-of-childrearing

10-18-10

FINE PRINT: DIVERSITY AND NUANCE. Are there different rules for different people/sects within **Christianity** regarding your ethical issue? What about differences in the way consequences are applied? **This week, concentrate on the similarities and differences between Catholics and Protestants on your topic.**
 * Prompt 5:**

Protestant Reformers view families as an important fundamental unit for implanting the religion and stability in children. Because of this, they paid much more attention to children and families than the late-medieval Catholic church. Instilling beliefs into their children is important to protestant parents. They viewed children as born tainted with sin, but able to learn right from wrong so that way they can overcome temptations throughout the world. Both the mother and the father are responsible for teaching the child Christian beliefs and practices. Also, disciplining them with love and restraint is important and usually the church family helps with that. A big difference between Catholics and Protestants is confirmation. Protestants delay confirmation until adolescents. They wanted to push it back to adolescents so that way the child has more spiritual maturity. This also means that the child has an extended period of time before they are held accountable for their actions. Catholic children received confirmation between the moment of baptism to age seven. Catholics view confirmation and baptism as a sacrament, while Protestants don't. Protestants believe that the child needs to understand the Christian faith before they become baptized and confirm their believe. They think it is the child's choice whether to do so or not as well. With Catholicism, they baptize babies because Catholics believed that it washes away the original sin from the baby's soul. Protestants look at baptism as a sign of God's grace and covenant with the child. Baptism and Confirmation are differences between Catholics and Protestants. Both want their children to concentrate on God and his love.
 * Response:**

http://www.faqs.org/childhood/Pa-Re/Protestant-Reformation.html
 * Sources:**


 * Prompt 4:**

BIG PICTURE: MAIN RULES AND CONSEQUENCES. Describe the main teachings of **Christianity** pertinent to your issue. What are the consequences (legal, social, spiritual) when the teachings are not followed? In other words, I'm asking you to investigate whether your ethical issue is considered a public matter, with public, legal, and social consequences, or is it considered a spiritual or personal matter, with more private consequences affecting personal relationships and spiritual matters. Christianity views child rearing as very important. As soon as the child is born, the parents are responsible to teach them of Gods love. Obviously, when they are born, they don't know any better but by showing them love is an example of God's love. They want to expose their children to his love as early as possible so that way, they won't become to wrapped up in the world. The reason why Christian parents do not want their children becoming worldly is because the world is corrupt and they want their children to become Godly. Integrity, honesty, poise, and diligence are important lessons to teach Christian children. Articlesnatch.com states, //"It is foolish, fatal, and suicidal to wait till the child is grown up for so that he may then be instructed in the ways of God. Two reasons are obvious for this. First of all, there is no age at which a child cannot learn of the love of God."// A parent would be considered foolish in Christianity if the parent didn't teach their child the love of God right away. Also, if a Christian family cannot keep their children under control, the man of the house should not become an elder. Titus 1:6 from the bible states "An elder must be blameless,the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient." If the family is not raising their children the way God wants them to be raised, the father may not become an elder. That would be considered a consequence for not following the teachings of child rearing. Also, a parent would be judged by God by how well or hard they tried to lead their children in the right direction.
 * 10/11/10**
 * Response:**


 * Sources:**
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 * Prompt 3:**

FINE PRINT: DIVERSITY AND NUANCE. Are there different rules for different people/sects within **Judaism** regarding your ethical issue? What about differences in the way consequences are applied?


 * 9/27/10**


 * Response:**

As we all know, there are three different sects in Judaism. They are referred to as Orthodox, Conservative, and reformed. It is a little difficult to actually find differences in rules for child rearing with these different sects. There still are differences though. For example, Orthodox Jewish parents prefer their children to dress more modestly than reformed Jewish parents when going swimming. Bikinis and thongs would be viewed as inappropriate and indecent exposure. Jewish boys also must wear boxer-style swim trunks. It is not good to expose children to sexual suggestive wear. Wearing a long dark colored t-shirt is recommended to be worn over a bathing suit. During Passover, children of strict parents do not allow children to play with play-dough. The reason they don't allow that is because play-dough contains chometz which are products that were made from the 7 grains that are prohibited during passover. Reformed Jews do not mind as much if their children play with play-dough during passover. However, modeling clay and clay could substitute play-dough and children may play with that. But Jewish people must look at the ingredients of items to be sure. There are also issues with either sending your child to day school or join an after school program. Having Jewish child go to a full day school would cover more ground for them and teach the child throughout their whole school career. Also, After school programs could be looked at as an "after thought" making it seem like religion is not as "important" as regular classes. An Orthodox family would most likely send their children to full day schools while conservative Jews would have their kids join an after school program. Advantages for having a child join an after school program would be that other children in the public school could be exposed to a Jewish student and the children would probably be more accepting as they grow up. Also, sending their kids to a public school could allow their children to make friends with people who live in their neighborhood. Sending your child to a Jewish school or just having them attend an after school program depends on different things like, finances, acedemic quality, child care options, the community, religious schools available, transportation and attitude of parents and how they feel the school relates to their own beliefs. Basically differences in child rearing is how strict you are with your parenting when your orthodox, and also how lenient you are when you are reformed.

http://www.faqs.org/faqs/judaism/FAQ/12-Kids/
 * Sources:**


 * Prompt 2**


 * BIG PICTURE: MAIN RULES AND CONSEQUENCES. Describe the main teachings of Judaism pertinent to your issue. What are the consequences (legal, social, spiritual) when the teachings are not followed? In other words, I'm asking you to investigate whether your ethical issue is considered a public matter, with public, legal, and social consequences, or is it considered a spiritual or pers**


 * 9-20-10**


 * Response:**

If you are Jewish, you need Jewish values, beliefs, culture, and rituals to help with raising Jewish children. Parents need to keep those things in mind when they are raising children. Something that is very important in Judaism for raising children is being a role model. In Hebrew role model is called dugma. This religion takes action and doing seriously. They don't believe in the saying "Do as I say, not as I do." A parent's actions must go along with what they are saying. If a child sees by their parents' actions that Judaism is very important, they will act in a way that goes along with Jewish teaching. If a parent is not doing what they are saying, it creates mixed messages for the children. They in a way become hypocrites and that is not good at all. Being a role model is crucial for parenting.

Rabbi Berel Wein had said "One of the most important tasks in life is being a parent. Since every person and every family situation is different one from another, there are no particular instructions or guidelines that can affect every particular situation of parenting." That is very true. There are no set guidelines for parenting; Its something one must which way works best for them in how they want to raise their children. However, for Judaism, there are important concepts that one should follow. In a Jewish home, serenity must be present to raise children. There must be a sense of love as well. Parents must make sure that their marriage works and they need to make sure that they are being good role models. Parents need to always keep their children in mind. Another concept that is important for raising Jewish children is having a knowledge of family history. Children should be aware of the past and their legacy. They should know who their ancestors were and who their grandparents are. To the Jewish, history is extremely important, so it only makes sense that family history would be important to them as well when raising children.

To me, I really don't think that this is a public ethical issue. I think it more has to do with spiritual aspects. It's up to parents to instill a spiritual aspect in their children and that is what Jewish parenting aims to do. They want their children to gain a sense of respect for themselves and their religion. This is not really a public issue unless their children became delinquents and deface public property or something like that.


 * Sources:**

http://www.mishpacha.org/parentintro.shtml http://www.torah.org/features/par-kids/parenting.html#


 * Prompt 1**
 * Define and describe your topic as an ethical issue and identify the controversies and dilemmas within the issue. Seek to do general background reading to understand the main issues inherent in your topic. Identify at least two opposing positions often taken on your ethical issue, and explain two to three main arguments for each side.**


 * 9/15/10**


 * Response:**

My topic of discussion is child-rearing. Child rearing is the training, teaching or bringing up of children from parents or a legal guardian. The three different parental styles include, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Democratic. Authoritarian parents are very much in control. They set rules for their children and expect them to follow the rules. There is no exception and if the children break them, this parenting style would punish them. Because this parenting style is very strict, when the children get older and move out, they may have trouble making decisions on their own. The polar opposite of this parenting style is permissive. This allows children to live their own lives. They usually don't set very many rules, and when they do, these rules aren't very harsh. When rules are broken, they don't even enforce them. This kind of parenting style believes that children should be free thinkers and that they should make their own decisions. It shows a lot of warmth and love but children may be more prone to being very rebellious when growing up to because rules were never reinforced for them. The democratic style is a mixture between the previous two parenting styles. They set rules for their children and they make sure the children understand the rules. They let them know when the child is behaving badly and they let them know why the behavior is wrong. And they let their child know when they are doing well. The parent and child usually talk things out with this type of parenting style. Their kids usually grow up to respect them. If a child is raised differently than another child, they could behave differently which could possibly cause problems for another authority over the child if they are not the original parent or guardian. For example, in the show wife swap, the wives get swapped into each others lives and they have a different way of living. This usually creates chaos when the mother switches the rules to their own rules. The kids usually don't appreciate it and things can become heated and chaotic. Controversies with child rearing would mostly be parents who don't agree with another parents' view on how to raise children. Child rearing can also differ from culture to culture. In Asian culture, when a mom just gave birth, the new mother is supposed to lay in bed with the windows closed. In China this is called zuo yuezi. This is so that her ability to produce breast milk is preserved. Other family members are supposed to handle the responsibilities of the household and also, bathe and change the baby. The mother just lies down and relaxes. Well, here in America we may find this to be lazy especially if we didn't know this was apart of their culture. Mothers here don't go home and lay in bed for a month while family members wait on her. She starts her job as a new mother right away and still performs household responsibilities. Religion plays a big part in child rearing. A Christian family will try to raise their children in ways that are moral. They want their kids to keep good morals and they want them to be spiritual. Religion practices with child rearing involve rituals, references, symbols and acquaintances. They make sure that their children follow rules and are involved in practices with their religion. For example, a teenage Muslim girl is to dress very modestly. She should have her whole body covered and when she goes out in public she must wear a cloak over her clothing and a hijab to cover her hair. It's very important to be modest in the Islam religion. Other parents do not have these clothing expectations for their children. They allow their children to wear whatever they want. Child rearing is really just a matter of someone's own ways and thoughts on how to raise a child. When a family is religious, they want to instill their religion in their child. If a family is not that religious, it doesn't matter to them whether or not their child is religious. It just depends on how the parents want to raise there own children. However, a parent should not abuse their child and call it "raising them." That is wrong and it is a big ethical issue that many people feel strongly against. No one would ever want to hurt a child. It just doesn’t seem right. There has been a debate on whether or not you should spank a child. Others prefer to just talk things out with their child or send them away on time out. But still, others chose to spank their children. Spanking has been a way of punishment for many years. Our parents and our parent's were most likely spanked. Some feel that it is a good way to stop bad behavior while other people may see it as abusive. Spanking may be a good way to reinforce rules. A child who is spanked most likely wont do that behavior again. Children who aren't spanked may continue to do that behavior because they want to test their limits and they know nothing serious will happen to them. Spanking is a way to prevent bad behavior, and a way to stop bad behavior. No one wants to get spanked. However, looking at the other point of view, spanking seems to be a bit harsh. They compare spanking to hitting the child in an abusive way. Another argument is that children won't listen to you because they know it’s the right thing to do, children listen to you because they are afraid of you. If you don't spank your children, and if your children listen to you, it wouldn't be because of fear, it would be because they know right from wrong and they respect you. The spanking debate has been a big ethical issue when it comes to child rearing. Both sides make decent points but in the end, it’s the parent's choice on how to raise and punish their child.

http://www.mondofacto.com/facts/dictionary?child+rearing media.wiley.com/product_data/excerpt/87/.../0471684287.pdf
 * Source:**

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